Amazon’s plonk and run

Remember when the sound of the letterbox made you run down the stairs in anticipation, only to find it was someone trying to hit their physical junk mail quota by posting something you are never going to need or use? I still get similar email stuff that I probably signed up to when I was standing at a checkout and gave my email address, unsubscribed to the first mailshot, but doh, too late….it had been shared to a zillion other “business partners”.

Nowadays the sound of the letterbox has been replaced by a heavy knock on my door and the sound of a parcel being dropped on the top step as I rush downstairs. I’m so glad I renewed my Amazon Prime subscription, because since lockdown along with Ocado they have been life savers. I heard that online shopping is now 26% of total retail, up from 19% since before Covid-19 which is incredible. We are all changing the way we shop and I’m sure the next technology will be to have it teleported through a time tunnel and plonked on our living room carpet!

Brilliant as Amazon is, and to a digital marketing person who has also “walked the job” in an emergency, picked products from stock and put them on the van, there was just one occasion where I wondered if home shopping was a good idea.

I ordered a new laptop when we were really all lock-downed. The driver showed up, there was a thud at the door, I ran downstairs, he handed me the box and zoomed off like Usain Bolt! I closed the door but as I took the parcel from him it seemed incredibly light, even for the lightest laptop on the market. I noticed the top of the box was sellotaped up, unlike Amazon’s usual black banding with the string inside that can cut your fingers off when you’re as eager as I am to rip the box open.

Long story short, it was just a box, but it was empty. I ran into the street and found the driver hiding round the corner. He claimed it was like that when he was given it and showed me a badge of sorts (probably fake) and said to call Amazon and they will send me another one. Despite my trying to describe this person and asking them to look into it and contact the police (unlikely, if he was a friend of a friend who is an Amazon), they just sent me a new one the next morning. I hope it never happens again because it still felt like I looked in the eyes of a thief who was laughing at me, but Amazon carried on regardless and I got my new laptop the next day. Lesson to self, never judge a book by its cover (sorry)!

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